


you and i can stay awake and keep on dreaming

by lukeyandlou



Series: you've got the stars, they're in your eyes [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Sexual Content, New Years, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, gay beverly marsh, it doesn't actually happen though, mentions of depression, richie is soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22058098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukeyandlou/pseuds/lukeyandlou
Summary: Richie and Bev throw a new year's eve party for the loser's hoping for a fun night, but when secrets and feelings come out, the losers club discover how much they need each other.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: you've got the stars, they're in your eyes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1587613
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	you and i can stay awake and keep on dreaming

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I wanted to make this a series following my Friendsgiving fanfic so here's a New Year's Eve special! Basically, if you didn't read the first work in this series, all you have to know is that the losers are in their first year of college but are still best friends because I said so and are seeing each other on school breaks, Richie and Eddie just got together, and Bev is a lesbian. Have fun!

“Should we get tequila again? Or try Hennessy this time?” 

Beverly held the bottle with a shine in her eye, her brows furrowed as if in deep debate. 

“You sure this shit is gonna work, Bev?” Richie asked, still a bit skeptical about the plan. He quirked his head. “And if it does? I say both.” 

“Of course it’s going to work, silly, I use my fake ID all the time in Chicago. And we’ve got, max, twenty bucks to spend on alcohol if we want to afford pizza too, so unless you’ve got more cash to cough up we can’t afford both.” 

“Alright, alright. I trust you, Bevvie,” he smiled, “And in that case? Last time I drank tequila, Eddie confessed his love for me, so I think we owe it another round.” 

“Gotcha,” she winked, putting the bottle of Tequila into the basket. “So, how are you and Eddie? We haven’t really had the chance to talk about that.” 

Richie smiled, but there was a touch of insecurity in his expression. “Of course things are great. They’ve got to be, the guy I’ve been in love with for like forever suddenly loves me back and I finally have him, and God Bev, that’s the best thing that’s happened to me. He’s my best thing.” 

“Yes,” she said, turning to him, “But?” 

“But,” he sighed, “He’s been acting a little weird lately. When we met up again when winter break started, he didn’t want to go on a date yet. I’m just wondering if this is really what he wants, you know? He confessed his feelings, yes, but I’m the one who kissed him first. I hope I didn’t, like, pressure him into anything. I just want to know if he really wants this.” 

“Rich,” she sighed, “Of course he wants this. This is Eddie we’re talking about, Eddie who has obviously been head over heels for you for all the years that I’ve known him. But coming out is scary, you know that. It sounds to me like he’s just scared.” 

“How about you and your girlfriend?” he asked her, “Was it like this at first too?” 

“I guess you could say that,” she answered, “When Vera and I met, we were both just coming out. College was just a great place to come to terms with yourself, you know? But we didn’t start holding hands in public right away. She was still getting used to being out, and so was I, growing up in Derry and all, but we had patience with each other. And most importantly? We communicated. We made sure to talk about what we felt comfortable doing, what made us nervous, what we were ready for. I think you and Eddie need to do the same.” 

“I talk to Eddie every day,” Richie said, “We text all day and have a phone call every night before bed. But we haven’t talked about this. To be fair, I didn’t even know this was an issue until we met up again last week. We hung out alone, yeah, and maybe we kissed a few times, but other than that it wasn’t any different from before. I guess I’m scared too, Bev. I’ve wanted this for so long, and I want to make sure he wants it too.” 

“I guess the only way you’re going to know is if you talk with him about it,” she said, “And I can’t speak for Eddie, but I’m sure he’s just getting used to things. I believe in you two, whole heartedly. We all do.” 

“Thanks Bevvie, I appreciate that,” he smiled shyly, “I’ll talk to him about it for sure. But tonight?” 

Richie turned to the aisle they were walking beside, grabbing an oversized New Year’s party hat. “It’s time to party.” 

“Damn right it is!” she said, grabbing the other hat, “And we are totally buying these. Come on! We’ve only got a few hours before the party!” 

Beverly grabbed Richie’s hand and they skipped through the store together, tequila and party gear in hand. 

X

Eddie sat at the edge of Bill’s bed, his eyes locked on the shining reflection on his dress shoes. Beverly and Richie had decided that all of them should dress in formal attire for whatever reason, and everyone had complied. There really was no arguing when it came to those two. Bill stood in front of his mirror, fixing his bowtie, while Eddie and Stan sat on opposite sides of his bed. 

“I was going to bring Audra tonight,” Bill said, “I really want you guys to meet her. She’s so amazing and I know you’d all love her.” 

“I’m sure we would,” Eddie told him, “Why didn’t you bring her?” 

“I don’t know, I figured something like spending the New Year together is more of a Loser’s only event,” Bill explained, “She might be able to fly out next week, if you guys are down to all hang out?” 

“Sure, Bill,” Stan said, “She really makes you happy, huh?” 

“Yeah,” he smiled, “She does.” 

“I’m so happy for you Bill,” Eddie smiled, “You really deserve it.” 

“I’m happy for you too, Eddie,” Bill turned to him, “How are things with you and Trashmouth?” 

Eddie blushed. “Good. We’re good.” 

“Just good?” Bill asked.

“No. I mean- no. We’re great,” Eddie said, making himself smile. 

“Right,” Bill said, “Well, I’m going to go get some things downstairs, and then we’ll start heading over to Richie’s, alright?” 

Stan and Eddie nodded, and Bill disappeared. 

When the door shut, Stan leaned over closer to Eddie. “So, what’s up?” 

“What do you mean what’s up?” Eddie asked. 

“You’re acting weird,” Stan said. 

“I’m acting weird? You’ve looked like you’ve seen a ghost since you got here.” 

“Fine,” Stan sighed, “You tell me what’s going on with you and I’ll tell you what’s going on with me.” 

Eddie clenched his eyes closed. “I’m just feeling a little insecure lately. I’ve only been out and with Richie for a little over a month, and only to you guys, so I guess it makes sense for me to be a little shy about my sexuality still. But I don’t think I’m being very fair to Richie. He wants to take me on dates, but I got too scared. Why would Richie waste his time with a guy who’s too scared to be gay when he can date any guy at college who wouldn’t act like this? I guess I’m just scared that I’m not enough for him.” 

“Eddie, shut the fuck up,” Stan said. “You’re scared because you’re not used to being out yet? That’s valid. But never think you’re not enough for Richie. That guy would do anything in the world for you. He said himself that he could never date or even hook up with someone who isn’t you.”

_ Hook up.  _

Eddie got an idea. 

“Alright, maybe,” he said, “But that’s what’s been bothering me. What’s your deal?” 

“I just haven’t been having the best month,” Stan said, “I’ve been feeling really lonely, I guess.” 

Eddie put his hand on Stan’s knee. “But you’re with us now, right?” 

“Right,” Stan said, but there was a touch of doubt in his voice. Eddie didn’t catch it. 

“And that’s it?” Eddie asked. 

“I guess,” Stan said, “But I am sober. Ask me again tonight when we’re a few shots in.” 

“Will do,” Eddie said. “I think I’m going to do something reckless tonight.” 

“You’re not going to break up with him, are you?” Stan asked. 

“Oh, God no. I could never,” Eddie answered immediately. 

“Oh, I see. The other kind of reckless, then. Don’t try it without lube,” Stan said. 

“Jesus, not that far either,” Eddie laughed, “Maybe something in that playing field. But not that far.” 

“Well, good luck with that,” Stan answered, “But I think I’m gonna do something reckless too.” 

“Drunken recklessness? We’re in this together,” Eddie smiled. 

“I guess we are,” Stan said. 

Bill opened the door, eagerness for the night in his eyes. “Now, I don’t want to see a second more of you two looking like zombies. It’s time to party.”

“You’re right,” Eddie said, a new excitement in his eyes. “Let’s party.” 

He thought he just might have a solution to his problem. He had to prove to himself that he was enough for Richie. He had to. 

X

The clock strikes eight pm.

Bev is standing on a stool, taping up the last streamer, careful not to ruin her oversized New Year’s hat. Richie is arranging the bowls of chips on the table, humming as he assured that the cookies Bev had baked were in perfect order, all beside the bottle of tequila, some shot cups and some limes to finish off the bitter taste. 

“Well, Bevvie,” he said as she stepped down, admiring her work, “Looks like this is the best this place is gonna get.” 

She threw her arm around his shoulders, resting her chin on him. “Tonight’s gonna be great. I just know it.”

“God, I hope so,” Richie said, “But seeing Eddie in a little bowtie? It’s going to have to be.” 

A knock on the door interrupted them, and Bev rushed over in excitement. Richie raised his hopes, wanting to see Eddie as soon as possible, but knowing Eddie, he would’ve barged in without a knock. 

“Hey guys!” Bev beamed, welcoming Mike and Ben into the house. She embraced them, Richie following shortly behind her. 

“Looking sharp, boys!” he said, hugging them tightly. 

“And why again are we dressing formal when it’s just the seven of us getting drunk at Richie’s?” Ben laughed. 

“Because we look beautiful, that’s why,” Bev said, “You can’t just celebrate New Year’s in a t-shirt. That’s just wrong.” 

“I like the idea,” Mike smiled, “I’ve had this suit in the closet for forever with no excuse to wear it.” 

“And stunning you are, Mikey,” Richie said, before Bev dragged them away to the chips. 

Ten minutes passed, and while the other three chatted by the snack table, Richie sat on the couch facing the door, tapping his foot in anxiousness. He knew that it was like Bill to be late, but not having Eddie there flooded his mind with paranoia. What if he wasn’t coming anymore? What if he didn’t want to see him?

With that, the door burst open, Bill rushing in with Eddie and Stan behind him. 

“Alright, I love you guys and all,” Bill said, “But let’s skip the hugs and get to the tequila.” 

Richie rushed to Eddie, and to his relief Eddie gave him a warm smile. They hugged tightly and Richie kissed Eddie’s cheek. 

“You look, uh, nice,” Eddie told him. 

“Couldn’t look as gorgeous as you, Eds,” he said, “Or maybe I can. I did look pretty good last time I checked.” 

“Fuck off,” Eddie smiled, “And come on. I’m hungry.” 

Richie took Eddie’s hand and Eddie turned to Stan, who nodded to him in reassurance. 

“Now that everyone’s here,” Bev announced, “We’ve all got to take a shot together.” 

“I’m down for that, that’s for sure,” Stan said, and they all filled their shot cups, identifying the cups with their names sloppily written in sharpie. 

“To a great last night of the year for the loser’s club!” Bev said, and they all toasted and downed the liquor. 

Richie turned to his stereo and turned on his party playlist, which consisted solely of pop music from the 2000s that he had never moved on from, and the party began. 

An hour passed consisting of conversations, snacking, dancing and maybe taking a second shot, and Mike had the idea to play beer pong. Stan passed and Eddie decided to stay and hang out with him, and Richie squeezed his hand tightly before following the others to the table set up outside. Bev and Richie teamed up against Mike and Bill, Ben being the referee. Stan and Eddie took another shot together, and shortly another, and then settled on the couch together. 

Four shots in, Eddie rested against the cushion and focused on the ceiling, and he had started to feel a little bit drunk. Tequila was strong and he knew six shots were enough to make him sick, but four was a comfortable amount. Stan decided he was far from done for the night. 

“You know what, Stan?” he said, “I’m not scared anymore. I’m gonna do it.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Stan responded, “But good. Do it.” 

“You ever felt like that?” Eddie continued, “Like you’ve been scared all your life and you have to get out there and just  _ do  _ something, and that when you do it, you’ll feel so much better?” 

“Maybe if I knew what the fuck I should be doing,” Stan scoffed, “I don’t know who I am, Eddie. I don’t know what I want. I just don’t know. Have I ever told you that?” 

“I don’t think so,” Eddie said, turning his attention to his friend.

“My life isn’t going anywhere,” Stan said, a blank look on his face, “I go to college and have a major, yeah. But I don’t feel fulfilled. And maybe I have a secret too.” 

“What’s the secret?” Eddie asked. 

“Not drunk enough for that yet,” he answered, “But fuck it. I said I was going to do something reckless, so I better go out and do it. You want another shot?” 

Eddie hesitated, considering the warmness in his stomach. He’d be five shots deep, and six was his limit. “Sure.” 

The two went to the table and swigged another, sucking a slice of lime afterwards. With the sour bitterness sitting in his mouth, Eddie felt ready. 

“I’ve got to get Richie and do something. In private,” Eddie said, voice slightly slurred. “Are you going to be okay without me, Stan? Because if not, I’ll stay with you. But when I take him out the beer pong game will end and the others will come in and force you to dance to 2008 Lady Gaga.” 

“Always down to dance to 2008 Lady Gaga,” Stan said, smiling to conceal the nerves and sadness he felt. “Have fun, Eddie. Stay safe and good luck.” 

“Thanks, Stan,” he said, drunkenly pulling him into a hug and heading out to the backyard. 

Richie had just made the ball into the opposing cup, causing Mike to take a sip. Richie and Bev cheered and high-fived, and his face lit up even more when he saw Eddie approaching. 

“Eds! You and Stanny gonna join us now?” he asked. 

“Rich,” Eddie said, “I need to talk to you. In private.” 

“Uh, okay,” Richie said, looking to Bev nervously before turning back to Eddie. “Of course. Sure.” 

Bev squeezed his hand in reassurance as Richie departed, and Richie calmed his nerves when Eddie ran his thumb against Richie’s wrist affectionately. 

“What’s up, Eds?” Richie asked as Eddie continued dragging him once they were in the house. 

“We’re going to your room. Is that okay?” Eddie turned to him. 

“Yeah, uh, that’s okay,” Richie said, and they went up the stairs. 

When they reached the room, Eddie pushed Richie slightly forward and turned back to the door, shutting and locking it. He turned back to Richie, swallowing the last bit of fear he had. 

“Eds? What is this?” Richie asked. 

“Just trust me,” Eddie said, and he leaned forward and grabbed Richie’s collar and kissed him. 

Richie was caught by surprise for a second but then kissed back, and as soon as he did Eddie deepened the kiss, his hands in his boyfriend’s hair. They made out for a moment, before Eddie led Richie to the bed and lightly pushed him onto it, straddling him and running his hand up his chest. 

Richie pulled back. “What are you doing?” 

Eddie smiled, his intoxication clear from the dazed look in his eye.”Not scared anymore.” 

“Scared? Scared of what?” Richie asked. 

Eddie leaned in to kiss him again, pulling back and cupping his cheek. “I’m gonna blow you.” 

“What?” Richie exclaimed, raising an eyebrow in confusion. 

Eddie’s eyes widened. “You...don’t want me to?” 

“Eddie, baby,” Richie said, “You’re really drunk right now. Come on, let’s lay down.” 

Richie grabbed Eddie by his sides and lifted him off of him, laying him beside him. 

Eddie stared at him for a second, and then his lip started to quiver. Before Richie could say anything, Eddie broke out in sobs. 

“Eddie?” Richie asked, reaching forward and grabbing his hand. 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie cried, “Richie, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay, Eds,” he said, “I promise, it’s okay. I’m gonna go get you some water, okay?” 

Eddie wanted to tell him not to go. He didn’t know if he could handle seeing him walk out that door. But logically, he knew that being this drunk would not get him anywhere good. So he nodded. 

While Richie was gone, Eddie tucked himself into his knees, tears streaming down his face. He felt intensely embarrassed, but moreso, ashamed. He should’ve known better than to try to do that when he was so drunk. 

Richie returned quickly with a glass of water in hand, and Eddie sipped it down, still shuddering in his crying as Richie rubbed his back. 

When he had finished the cup, he scooted back and leaned against the head of the bed, not finding the strength to look at Richie. But Richie was looking at him, grabbing his hand again. 

“You can tell me anything, you know that right?” Richie told him. 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie repeated.

“I told you it was okay-

“No, not just for this,” he said. “I’m sorry that I’m so scared of being gay. I don’t give enough for our relationship and I don’t let you love me the way you want to because I just get too damned scared of myself and accepting who I am, and you deserve so much better than that. I thought that maybe if I did something like this, it would make it more real. That maybe I’d be enough.” 

“Baby…” Richie said, and he scooted up and pulled Eddie into his arms, who reluctantly tucked his cheek into his chest. He cuddled Eddie tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 

“You are more than enough for me, Eds. Me and you are the most real thing I’ve ever had, and no matter what you’re feeling that will always be true. Of course I want to do those things with you, so never think that it’s because I don’t want to. Just not like this. It has to be when we’re sober, and more importantly, when you’re ready. I don’t want you to ever do something like that because you’re trying to prove yourself, to yourself or especially not to me. Do you understand?” 

Eddie hesitantly nodded, wiping the last of his tears away. 

“You’re everything to me, Eddie. You really are my very best thing. And I never want to rush you with anything, okay? If you’re scared still, or not ready for something, you have to tell me. You can always tell me.” 

“Okay,” Eddie answered, “I’m sorry for not telling you before. I was embarrassed, and wanted to see if I could figure things out myself.” 

“It’s okay,” Richie said, stroking his hair. “We’ll just always talk these things out together from now on, right? We’ll figure everything out together.” 

“Okay,” Eddie said again, kissing Richie.The water made him feel a lot more collected. “And maybe I’m not actually ready this second, but one day, hopefully not too far from now, I’m going to be sober and I’m definitely going to blow you.” 

Richie laughed. “And that is an offer I cannot turn down.” 

A knock on the door interrupts them, startling them a bit. Richie is about to tell whoever it is to come in, but remembers the door is locked. He walks over and opens the door, seeing Ben. 

“I’m not, uh, interrupting anything, am I?” Ben asked. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Haystack?” Richie smirked, “Anyway, what’s up?” 

“I think I need you guys to come downstairs,” Ben said, “Something’s wrong with Stan.” 

“Fuck,” Eddie said from the bed, slapping his hand to his forehead and cursing himself for leaving him alone. He should’ve known better. “Okay. We’re coming.” 

The three run downstairs, and they see Stan on the floor, obviously insanely drunk, seemingly in tears with Bev, Bill and Mike surrounding him. They all have looks of concern and fear on their faces, and Eddie rushes to slide down to Stan’s side. 

“What happened?” he asked them. 

“We played a little more beer pong, and when we came out, he was beyond wasted and when I asked how much he had to drink, he started crying,” Bill told him. 

“Stanny?” Richie said, all of them now kneeling around him, “What’s wrong, buddy? We’re here, okay?” 

“Well maybe you shouldn’t be,” Stan said. 

“What?” Mike asked. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t be,” he repeated, “We went off to college, and I don’t even know if you guys know me anymore. I don’t even fucking know me anymore. I’m so lonely and fucking sad now days, and I don’t even know who I am or what I want. Fuck, I don’t think I even deserve a place in anyone’s lives, and I’ve never said anything like this to anyone but I’m really fucking drunk right now and I just need to get it out because fuck! I don’t feel like anything is worth it and you know what I was thinking that while I was drunk tonight I would come out as bi but then I decided that there was no point to that anymore, and here I am telling you guys this shit instead.” 

They were quiet for a minute, and their silence made Stan feel worse. He choked out a sob before Mike put his hands around him. 

“It’s okay,” Mike said, “If you get depression, that isn’t your fault. We will stay with you through it all, okay?” 

“He’s right,” Bev said, “We got you Stan. No matter what, forever.” 

“We’ve got to stick together,” Ben said, “Losers stick together.” 

“And guess what?” Mike said again, “If we’re talking about it, I’m bi too.” 

“Really?” Stan asked. 

“Really,” Mike replied. 

“I knew I didn’t hang out with straights,” Richie joked, “The more of you that come out the more happy I feel. Bill, Ben, I’m waiting on you.” 

Bill shook his head, smiling. “We love you Stan, okay? You’re going to get through this. We’ll be here with you.” 

Stan has stopped crying now, wiping his cheeks. “Thanks guys. I’m sorry I said all that, about how maybe you shouldn’t be here for me. I love you guys, you know. Except you, Richie. Fuck you.” 

“Love you too, Staniel,” Richie laughed, joining Mike in hugging Stan, the rest of them following. They laughed and held each other for a moment, feeling more than content to just be with each other. 

“Damn, the time went fast,” RIchie said, “We’ve got ten minutes until midnight.”

“Then we’ve got to make the best of it,” Bev smiled, standing up. “Come on guys. I think it’s time to dance.” 

They all agreed, helping each other up as Bev turned up the music. They circled together in the living room, dancing and laughing together and just feeling so and completely  _ them _ . They couldn’t think of a better way to end the year and start a new one, because with the strain of going to different colleges, they were together, and they always would be. Nothing would ever take that away. 

“Guys! We’ve got to put on the countdown!” Bev turned on the television, showing that only thirty seconds remained before midnight. Everyone quickly grabbed a blow popper that Richie and Bev had bought, standing in a circle and counting down. 

Ten…

Nine…

Eight..

Richie turned to Eddie, resting on hand on his hip and the other to cup his chin. Eddie, the one who he had spent so many of his years loving, was finally his. Finally his to kiss. 

Seven…

Six…

Five…

Stan looked around at his friends, a smile growing on his face. He would always question himself, but his bond with this family was one he would never question again. He’d do anything for them, and he was beginning to understand that they’d do anything for him too. 

Three…

Two…

One…

All of them grabbed hands and looked at each other in excitement. They had spent many New Year’s together like this, and they knew they would spend many more. Together. That they always would be. 

The clock struck midnight. 

Richie turned and kissed Eddie using all of the love he had, thinking of no better way to enter the New Year. Eddie kissed him back, and feeling the boy he loved and being surrounded by the people who would always make him feel safe, he felt far from afraid. Everyone else cheered and blew their poppers, and in that moment, they felt alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Would you guys like to see more works in this series? I feel like I could do a lot with Stan's depression, Stan and Mike's sexuality and Richie and Eddie trying to develop their relationship, and I can also do more about Bev and her girlfriend and add some stuff for Ben and Bill. Just a thought because I love these kids! Have a great 2020 guys! Say hi on Twitter, I am now @ starlightozier.


End file.
